Flirting in French: 29 Flirtatious Phrases for Getting It On in the Hexagon (2023)

Go ahead, pretend that it never crossed your mind that you were learning the planet’s most-hyped language of love.

Whether you’re looking for a fling, a couple of dates or a lifetime of passion,voilà !

We’ve got all the French words, strategies and cultural considerations that canturn you into a regular femme fatale or Pepé Le Pew.

Contents

• French Flirtingand Language Learning
• Flirting in French: 29 Flirtatious Phrases for Getting It On in the Hexagon
• Ways to Flirt in French Without Moving to France, Africa or Quebec

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French Flirtingand Language Learning

Frankly, flirting should be a mandatory part of any French course.Having someone to flirt with (among other things) leads to extremely motivated language learning and improves retention. You’re not going to ever forget those sweetly muttered nothingsif theyget you some action, are you?

The converse is also true. Improving your French makes it so much easier to flirt. Yes, sure, there are people out there who can flaunt their extravagant cocktail budgets or normal-shaped knees. For the rest of us, a bit of verbal charm is going to be necessary to get anywhere.

Flirting in French: 29 Flirtatious Phrases for Getting It On in the Hexagon

Of course, there areclassic French pickup lines like t’as des beaux yeux, tu sais ?

Literally, that one translates as “you’ve got beautiful eyes, you know?” but it comes off as an extremecliché, likethe English“do you come here often?” You shouldn’tever say it for real, but you might try employing it ironically, laying on your foreign accent very thickly and giving a wink—as if you’re “just practicing” your new language.

Well, youcould say t’es beau/t’es belle (you’re beautiful), but you should really only saythis after you’ve established a relationship with someone. Both French guys and girls seem to be easily scared off by directness, tending to prefer a bit more subtlety.

A much more successful concept to keep in mind for French dating (as well as conversation in general) is that ofdeuxième degré (second degree). What this means is speaking ironically—not saying or taking things at face value.

Troisième degré (third degree) means that you’re being even more ironic and less sincere. For example, saying “t’as des beaux yeux, tu sais” to someone you would clearly not flirt with (to your baker as you get the change, or between two straight dudes).

La biseis the practice of the non-romantic kisses on the cheeks used for greeting someone and saying goodbye. These innocent kisses can quite easily become something more. In fact, after more than a decade of flirting in continental Europe, I honestly can’t even rememberhow Americans manage to work up to their firstbisou sur la bouche (kiss on the lips). It must be hard.

There are a couple of other classic French excuses forplanting a first kiss.

You can say t’as une miette (you’ve got a crumb) as you pretend to stroke something off of someone’s face, first with your fingers, then with your lips.

For the younger or more inebriated set, there’s the classic gametourner la bouteille (spin the bottle). It’s the same concept as our version, and, before you laugh it off, I have personally seen aromance between a couple of French natives go on to last years after getting sparked on my living room floor. And I’m pretty sure they never would have had the guts to kiss each other otherwise.Action-vérité(truth or dare) is, similarly, a classic. Say “action” and, if your friends have any sense at all, they’ll dare you to smooch someone lovely.

For those of you with an advanced level of French, take advantage of your conditional tense knowledge! As I said before, we definitely don’t want to be too direct in French flirting. But you could,hypothetically, suggest romantic situations. A great line for this is “qu’est-ce que tu penserais si je t’embrassais ?“(What would you think if I kissed you?)

The faux ami (false cognate)exciterthat you were warned away fromin French class is, finally,useful once you’re in a romantic situation. Tu m’excites !means “you turn me on!”

When I first moved to France, I was a more than a little surprised to hear some definitely love-free trysts referred to as faire l’amour. Yes, the phrase means “to make love,” but it’s also usedto describe hookup-like situations where love isabsent. So, even if you’re not quite ready for the L word, don’t be concerned if some lovely French thing says, “j’ai tellement envie de faire l’amour avec toi !”(I really want to make love with you!)

Coucher avecis an informal—but not vulgar—verb phrase for romantic encounters. For example,j‘ai couché avec monsieur le president (I slept with the president) was a commonly-used phrase during the periods of the Frenchrepublics.

TheAmerican concept of “dating” doesn’t really exist in France. “A date” in the subtitles of American TV shows is sometimes rendered unrendez-vous galant, but really,nobody in France would ever ask anyone to doone of those. You can instead sayon prend un verre/un café (let’s go for a drink/a coffee). Do notmake the romantic intentions explicit. Passionis supposed to “just happen.”

Likewise, there’s no “just dating” period where you go out with a few people at once, as there is in the States. If a hookup was more than a one time thing, there will be a strong presumption that it’s immediately a monogamous relationship. Congratulations, once you get to this stage in the relationship you can sayon sort ensemble (we’re going out) or on est ensemble(we’re together).

Americans’ use of baseball terms to describe their degrees of sexual conquest (“she got to second base!”) has a much more innocent equivalent in France. The metaphor used is like going into first gear, second gear, etc. Première vitesse (first gear) is going out for a drink, deuxième vitesse(second gear) is achieved when the pairrealizes their shared interestin something more andtroisième vitesse (third gear) is making out.

If you’re a foreigner in France, beprepared for that horriblequestion that travelers are asked anywhere: Elles sont difficiles les Américaines/Françaises/Espagnoles/Russes… ?(“Are American/French/Spanish/Russian women difficult (to start a relationship with/to flirt with)?”)The question isn’t horrible itself, I suppose—cultural differences in romance definitelyexist—but the subtext is perhaps a bit sexist.

One way to politely avoid it is saying something like, “Ça dépend, bien sûr !“ (That depends, of course!) or “L’amour est toujours très compliqué !“ (Love is always very complicated!)

Ways to Flirt in French Without Moving to France, Africa or Quebec

I do realize that some of you live in tragic locales where there aren’t a lot of French-speaking people to flirt with. But that doesn’t mean you can’t flirt in French—enter the internet!

For starters, warm up with French romances on Netflix or whatever your favorite streaming platform is. The snippets of French movies, series and other media clips on the language program FluentU can also help you sound more natural when it’s your turn for some flirting.

Next, you can get on the pro version of Tinder and change your geographical settings to whatever region of the world interests you. Ifyou do happen to be in a French-speaking area, you can download the Gallic answer to Tinder, Happn. For those who prefer computers, popular datingwebsites in France include Meetic andAdopte un Mec.

You might also just happen to meet someone lovely through traditional language exchanges over Skype. The bestresource for findingFrench speakers looking to learn English is italki. If you’re looking to be a little less flirtatious and a little more professional, you can opt to hire a private tutor on italki too. They’ll be paid to help you polish your pickup lines.

However you’re meeting people, you should of course be completely honest about your intentions, whether you’re looking for language practice, romance or both. Here are some good ways to express what you’re looking for:

• Je cherche l’amour. — I’m looking for love.

• Je cherche juste à faire de nouveaux potes. —I just want to make new friends.

• J’ai juste envie depratiquermon français. — I just want to practice my French.

• Je cherche une relation sans engagement. —I’m not looking for commitment.

I hope you enjoyed this post, andmoreover, I hope it proves to be of very practical use—whether that means lifelong love, silly adventures or just getting in some extra French practice.

Download: This blog post is available as a convenient and portable PDF that you can take anywhere. Click here to get a copy. (Download)